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Grundish and Askew Cover

July 6, 2009

My next book, Grundish and Askew is almost done and ready for release. Here is the back cover blurb:

“Strap on your athletic cup and grab a barf bag. The Dr. Reverend Lance Carbuncle is going to kick you square in the balls and send you on a wild ride that may or may not answer the following questions: what happens when two white trash, trailer park-dwelling, platonic life partners go on a moronic and misdirected crime spree?; can their manly love for each other endure when one of them suffers a psychological bitch-slap that renders him a homicidal maniac?; will a snaggletoothed teenage prostitute tear them apart?; what is the best way to use a dead illegal alien to your advantage in a hostage situation?; what’s that smell?; and, what the hell is Alf the Sacred Burro coughing up? Carbuncle’s latest offering, Grundish and Askew, ponders these troubling questions and more. So sit down, put on some protective goggles, and get ready for Carbuncle to blast you in the face with a warm load of fictitious sickness.”

And check out the bad-ass cover design done by my friend and fellow Vicious Books author, Marcus Eder, author of Rorschach’s Ribs. Marcus graciously offered his talent up for the cover design and did not disappoint.

Keep an eye out for Grundish and Askew, to be released through Vicious Books this August.

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REVIEWS

"A charmingly sick odyssey through the friendliest Hell you ever met."
Mykle Hansen- Author of Help! A Bear is Eating Me.

"This is one of the best road books I've ever read. The story is amazing yet somehow believable, the characters are instantly likable. Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed is full of dark humor that will make you laugh out loud and grimace simultaneously."
Marcus Eder- Author of Rorschach’s Ribs.

"Carbuncle's debut novel is simply laugh-out-loud funny! It may not be the book you want to give to your conservative grandfather on his birthday, but for the rest it offers a roller-coaster ride of substance abuse and bizarre happenings. Fans of Carl Hiaasen and Hunter S. Thompson will surely love this book."
A.F. Rutzy- Author of End Credits.

"Like On the Road as seen through the prism of a carnival sideshow."
Bradley Sands- Author of It Came from Below the Belt and Editor-in-Chief of Bust Down the Door and Eat All the Chickens.

“Seriously f#@*ed up fun! Prepare to be let down by the book you read after it.”
Scott Carpenter- Author of Mr. Undesirable

"Wow! That was quite a ride. I feel the need to shower and call my mother, but I'm smiling!"
Rhonda, Really - Myspace member, Reader, Reviewer, and woman with phobia related to Toby Keith’s giant teeth

Best read of 2008...[A] modern epic journey that puts Homer's Odyssey to shame. SSSCCaS follows the voyage of one man trying to get back to his canine soul mate, and the interactions he has with those he meets along the way. Snarky, witty, and riotous, leaves you with the feeling of time well spent. Should come with a warning label. CAUTION: Author not responsible for any injury, or loss of dignity incurred while reading in public. Under no circumstances should one eat or drink while reading. Doing so may result in trouble breathing, choking or death."
Artoria-Amazon.com reviewer

“Lance Carbuncle is one sick S.O.B.! Smashed, etc. is kind of like "Thelma and Louise," if they'd been horny 20-something guys on acid. A hysterical read!!!”
Kirsten O. , Facebook Visual Bookshelf

“Though politically incorrect and vulgar at times, the journey is fast paced and extremely witty. That is what makes this book so special. Societal taboos are touched upon in a delicate, comedic manner; a true talent of Carbuncle. And don't be fooled by the jocular Foreword, the story is well written and grammar speed bumps are easily forgiven. The well described characters and situations come to life and dance on the pages. Fans of Christopher Moore, Chuck Palahniuk, Tom Robbins, and Robert Coover will love Carbucle's twisted tale. People who love ACDC will enjoy the story as well. Why? Just trust me. After reading this treat, you will catch a case of the infectious Carbuncles.”
Don Moore, Amazon Reviewer and author

“Often hilarious, always fun, Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed is a honkin' good time from start to finish. With tons of pop-culture references; dark, twisted humor; and insanely well developed characters; Lance Carbuncle brings home a great first novel. Fans of Christopher Moore, Robert Tacoma, and Tim Dorsey will find joy in Carbuncle's pages. This is one wild and zany (road)trip you won't want to miss!”
Citizen Dan, Myspace member and reviewer

“Sick, Sick, Sick and Funny... Carbuncle must be a very disturbed man. But he knows how to write and how to make his readers laugh. I loved the bizarre footnotes throughout the book and the subtle literary, pop-culture and musical references. If you're looking for cute and cuddly, turn around and run the other way. If you like sick and twisted humor which is weaved into a good story line and hilarious characters, then pick up this book and be ready to laugh.”
Gerkin, Barnes and Noble reviewer

"Smashed is the funniest book I have ever read. I couldn't put it down. It has a hilarious cast of characters and even crazier events that are all masterfully wound together. If you have a weird sense of humor BUY THIS BOOK NOW!!!!"
Stephen Simon- Reader, Reviewer and Mixologist Extraordinaire

"I'd definitely recommend this book. It reads like it was written by an odd bastard child of Jack Black and Christopher Moore. I read it in one sitting. ONCE I STARTED I COULD NOT STOP."
May I Bleed Ink- Myspace member, Reader, Reviewer, an all around cool guy